Fitz was, oddly enough, never nervous around the police. Even here on the island, where he knew there were mind readers around. He knew they couldn't do anything even if they probed into his head. He let out a small whistle as he handed over his identification to the front desk and got his bracelet snapped on. No powers to nullify, but he wasn't about to tell them that. From there, the waiting room was only a short walk.
Once in his seat, Fitz leaned back and tossed his hat onto the table that stood in front of him. He was tired, and his smile fell despite knowing that he was probably being watched by cameras. It didn't matter if they saw him being anything less than happy. This wasn't something to be happy about, after all. But there was more to it. He hadn't slept in the week and a half since the police came for her, his mind set on a task he planned on having rolling along by the time Shay got out.
The conversation with Angelo hadn't gone well. Not to Shay. She figured, getting out and apologizing to her family wouldn't go well either.
Shay had gone and fucked everything up. And that little nagging voice never let her forget how her family would see her as monsters. She'd hurt Roa. She'd hurt Roa, and all she ever wanted was to keep them all safe. But she'd done the exact opposite of that.
Knowing that Derry was coming to visit her made Shay's stomach flip and not in a good way. She inhaled and exhaled slowly ten times before being escorted to the waiting room and left alone with her fiance.
She smiled hesitantly at him before letting the look fade away to pure weariness. "Hey," she said and trailed off.
Shay didn't want to wait in the silence like she had with Angelo, though. Derry and Theo were probably the only people she could be so forthcoming with.
Fitz looked Shay over and he felt a slight wave of relief wash over him. But with it there was new worry. She looked troubled. He knew that Angelo had visited before. Clearly that hadn't gone well. He gave Shay a tight smile as she said hey. But before he could respond she was asking a question he hadn't honestly considered, mostly because the thought of kicking her out had never crossed his mind.
"Well tha's an awkward question, lass," he laughed, leaning forward to prop his arms on the table. His smile loosened up , becoming the more natural smile Shay knew. "Be weird t'kick me fiancee out, innit?"
A beat, to see if Shay had anything she wanted to say. "Ah can't say Ah ain't mad. Ah am. But... Ah get it. An' if Ah couldn't forgive ye, Ah'd be kind o' a hypocrite, aye?"
Fitz got deadly serious and sat up at Shay's comment. Okay. She didn't want to be reassured. Not in his usual manner anyway.
"Wot? Ye wan' me t' call it off? This yer way o' gettin' cold feet? Can't just tell me t' feck off so ye go an' murder some arse'ole?"
His voice raised just a bit, but he pulled back so he didn't shout. Didn't want the guards to come and tell him to leave. "Ah dinnae give a feck if ye killed a man. Ah came 'ere t'day t' see 'ow ye were 'oldin' up. If ye needed anythin'."
Shay's eyes widened a bit, the first genuine expression on her face throughout their talk. Walls broken, Shay's voice got smaller, though it was not from meekness.
"Of course not. You're one of the only things I ever wanted." She waited for a beat and shifted to move and sit on the couch beside him. She was careful not to touch him, mostly because Shay wasn't sure she was allowed.
"I just don't want us to get married and for you to wake up every morning and –" She stopped, then sighed and met his eyes. "Be honest with me, could you ever look at me the same way again?"
"I don't want us to be a year or more down the road and for you to realize you sleep next to a monster. I'm glad you don't care, but we both know you do. How can't you? Even I care. If I can't look in a mirror, how could you stand to wake up every morning with me?"
Guards outside or none, Shay didn't care. She reached forward and took his hands in hers. Waited for someone to come in, but no one did.
"I love you," she said with a passion that shook her voice. "I love you, and that's why I will not be the one to drown you."
"Shay, Ah've been in yer 'ead. And ye've been in mine. We've both seen monsters. If yer a monster then Ah'm e'erything Ah claim t'be wot got me 'ere on th' island."
Fitz sighed heavily. His lack of sleep was catching up to him. But he couldnt let that affect him. He had to keep his head on his shoulders, for his own sanity.
"We told each other no lies. And Ah ain't lyin'. If 'owe'er many years down th' road it bothers me, Ah'll feckin' tell ye. But until then, Ah ain't givin' up on this. Wot we got."
Shay wanted to lean forward and kiss him, but when she went in to do, so there was a rap on the door. She smiled wistfully and pulled back.
"I believe you," she told him with a much more genuine and happy expression. It was like a weight had been taken off her chest. Derry, she could trust. Even if she couldn't trust herself.
"I'll behave, and I'll get out early on good behavior. I'll be home before you know it, but you have to take care of yourself." She reached up toward his cheek but hovered her hand there rather than touching him.
"You need to sleep, babe. I'm fine in here. No one is going to fuck with me, and the worst I have to worry about is being yelled at. Okay?" Her voice had taken a crooning kind of pleading tone, torn between comforting him and begging him.
"I'm all out of plants," she went on regretfully. "I think we can both agree my judgment isn't trustworthy at the moment. I got this stupid voice in my head since the incident. Figure it's my punishment."
"Still," Shay said without missing a beat, "if you're tired enough that you're falling asleep in your seat, business is going to be hard." She laughed a little, tension further leaving her shoulders. "How has that been going?"
Shay felt disconnected already. She'd learned early on in life that she liked having her nose in everything and not being able to do that made her anxious.