Private Finished The Pin Won't Drop Until It's Pushed

ArcanaFate

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May 19, 2018
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Gabe held tight for as long as he could before finally backing away. He kept his gaze downward and said nothing. What more was there to say? He had been a terrible person back in Halcyon and despite everything he had done since then to atone, he couldn't help but shake the feeling that deep down he was still a bad person. A monster. Everything his peers had called him and more.

"I'm sorry, Yuki. This isn't about my past mistakes, it's about my current ones. I shouldn't have tried to avoid you when I was freaking out. You told me back in the forest that even if I had murdered someone, you'd believe in me. I don't expect you to hold to those words but... I hope you will. You're probably my closest friend and I care about you. A lot."

Gabe felt his face get warm, realizing how open-ended his words could sound. He wasn't going to say anything further; he was sure that road would be a complicated mess of emotion. Well, more complicated.
 

Hope the Bard

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"Gabe..." The boy whispered. He couldn't trust himself right now. He couldn't. He didn't know what to say. What to do. What to feel.

"Gabe..." He gulped the air in again, letting its bitterness sting his lungs and force him to act. This was so unfair. Why did Gabe have to put Yuki in this position? Why did he have to corner him like this? It didn't make any sense. Nothing made any sense. He withdrew from his friend with a sharp intake of breath.

"Gabe, I..." He knew how this looked. But it wasn't how it looked. He wouldn't abandon his partner. No matter what. So why did this have to be so difficult? "I know. And I meant it."

He forced himself to stare Gabe in the eyes, ignoring the stupid leaky tendancy of his own. "I understand. And for what it's worth... I forgive you. I was never angry in the first place." But he wasn't smiling. He looked conflicted. "But...I need time. I'll need time. Give me a week, and talk to me again. Give me a day, and text me again. You're the greatest friend I could ever ask for..."

He backed away slowly, towards the door and withdrawing into himself, the familiar feeling of his hands gripping his bag strap deathly tight keeping him in control. Just barely. "...so I'll adjust. I just... I beg of you, give me time."
 

ArcanaFate

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Gabe felt Yuki retreat away into himself and away from his friend. Gabe was gonna lose another friend. Another piece of his heart was going to be shattered because he wasn't allowed nice things. He hadn't repented enough for his past. He had to suffer and be alone.

But Yuki said he was "the greatest friend he could ever ask for". There was a chance. This was a fair exchange for the week he had avoided Yuki. He couldn't be upset with his friend; he had done the same exact thing for a way more pathetic reason. Being upset because you caught feelings for your friend was not the same as finding out your friend was an enforcer for loan sharks and hurt a lot of people. So he watched Yuki back away and sat down on the rooftop.

"...That's fine. But as corny as it sounds, Yuki..." He paused, "Promise me you'll come back. That we'll still be friends. Tell me that and you can do whatever you need to do for as long as you want."
 

Hope the Bard

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Yuki nodded, silently. "...I promise. I'm going to try my hardest. You're special to me." He took the other boy's pinky in his own, forcing a smile. "It's a pinkie promise. If I break it, you can have my finger." And then he couldn't force it anymore.

He turned tail and ran. It was strange - he was feeling everything at once. Anger, sadness, joy and relief flooded him and threatened to take hold, but he refused. With every ounce of control he had, he forced himself to keep running. One step, then another. Focus on the ground beneath his feet. Focus on the way he needed to get home. Remember the feeling of his lungs expanding and contracting as they did their job.

He needed to go home. He needed to hole up in his room. Then, and only then, could he let go and try to figure out how to feel.

And that's what he did. Locking the door and collapsing onto the floor, he stared up at the ceiling. What did it all mean? What should he do from now onwards? Gabe was still the same person. His past hadn't changed that. He had felt guilty. And yet... he had enjoyed his crimes. Even though he hated himself for it now, he had still relished in the feeling of power. Of crushing the weak so that he wouldn't be the one on the chopping block.

And there it was. The image of the person he so desperately hadn't wanted to envision. Gabe's hair morphed into an orange spike do, his skin lightened slightly and he grew taller and more muscled, the green hue in his irises taking over until he had those deceptively bright eyes. That picture-perfect set of teeth and that sculpted, youthful yet somehow mature jawline. And that leering smirk he constantly had whenever he and Yuki were alone together.

"What's wrong, Yuki? It's your friend, Gabe..." Yato snickered, taking steps closer and closer to the boy. It was awful - it was Gabe's voice, and Gabe's way of moving, but it was Yato's face and body doing it.

"Stop it..." The boy whispered, shuffling back into the corner of the room and cowering. "Go away... you're not real... YOU'RE NOT HIM!" He screamed.

His worst nightmare was becoming reality. His best friend had become his worst enemy. Again.
 

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