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Finished For a Friend

Discussion in 'Islets' started by Romi, May 12, 2019.

  1. Romi
    Romi

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    When Angelo had first started visiting the islets, it had felt like charity. Doing a good deed. Helping people adjust. There were complications, his own feelings on it, but they had largely fallen by the wayside. His own complicated feelings about the police didn't weigh nearly as much when compared to what the people inside were going through.

    He just hadn't expected it would come in handy. He had never thought he'd be visiting someone he actually knew.

    Well, scratch that. He'd considered the possibility that Broen might have been arrested for something or other, but Blade? Blade wasn't who he thought of when he thought 'having to visit someone in jail'.

    But visit he was. He'd visited three times that week, and it wasn't until the third time that he ended up spotting a familiar face as they sat in the waiting room, waiting for security to flag them through. Someone had been caught with something most likely, because no one was moving, and it was at that point that Angelo decided he might as well go for it.

    So he moved over, sliding into the seat beside Xavier, and turned to look at him properly.

    At the very least Angelo looked less dead.

    "How's Dani?"
     
  2. WuffyWuff
    WuffyWuff

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    Xavier had been sat there as he waited for his regular check in for his probation. He was fortunate with the sentence he had been given, so he made sure he arrived on time. This usually meant he arrived a bit earlier than he needed, and it wasn’t like the staff were free all the time so his check in would always be on time. Because he regretted what happened, he never had any negative feelings about the probation.

    Until today. When he spotted a familiar face, and for the first time since he started serving his sentences, Xavier wholeheartedly weighed the option of booking it. Ever since Xavier came back from his... near death experience, he had tried his best to avoid Angelo. Not because he disliked him, though. It always cut into him, when he remembered Angelo. Every single word flashed in his mind.
    ‘If you ever considered us friends at all, you’ll leave me be.’ Those words were what stuck with Xavier the most, and they still cut like knives.

    But here Xavier sat, in a waiting room between a rock and a hard place. If Angelo couldn’t tell, Xavier most certainly avoided looking at him. He couldn’t exactly move away though when Angelo sat next to him. Xavier turned to him, and offered a small friendly smile despite the internal screaming. “Dani’s fine. She’s probably at the park with a babysitter right now.” He spoke friendly, and tried his best not to let the internal anxiety out.
     
  3. Romi
    Romi

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    Xavier was anxious. Maybe he wouldn't have noticed it before, caught up in his own head, but with his heart clear and his mind focused it was hard to miss. It was the body language. The smile, despite the fact that his eyes weren't really looking at him. He wasn't meeting Angelo's eyes, and that was probably the most obvious tell in the world.

    "How've things been with you?" Angelo said, dragging the conversation around to Xavier himself. He'd seen him only a few times, and he'd always seemed... distant.

    Not that Angelo could blame him. They hadn't exactly ended on friendly terms.
     
  4. WuffyWuff
    WuffyWuff

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    His shoulders were tensed. He kept waiting for Angelo to leave, like what had happened before. It terrified him. But, at least he didn’t feel as bad as he had before. Opening up to some people really helped, and also realise just how many issues that he himself had. This was something Xavier couldn’t feel calm about though.

    Xavier froze a bit. He hadn’t expected Angelo to ask him about how he felt. It was almost the last thing he expected. “Uh... I’ve been good! Just the usual kind of thing.” How his eyes flicked away from Angelo, and his general body language, proved once again how bad a liar Xavier was. It would only be recent that he had started feeling better, but it was still a long way off. “Just been busy, with school, community service, volunteering, Dani...” As Xavier listed them off, he internally flinched. Now that he acknowledge he’d been overworking himself, he couldn’t help but notice that saying it out loud really did seem like a lot to do.
     
  5. Romi
    Romi

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    Well that was a load of horseshit. It wasn't even hard to spot horseshit. No one on probation was good. That wasn't how it worked. At best you were okay, and Xavier was an absolutely awful liar. Angelo thought he was a bad liar, but he was a freaking master manipulator compared to how Xavier was acting.

    "You can say bad, you know," Angelo said. "Do you-"

    He cut himself off for a moment, letting it sink in. Replying their interactions.

    "Do you think I'm here to yell at you or something?"
     
  6. WuffyWuff
    WuffyWuff

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    Angelo had hit the nail right on the head. That would exactly be what Xavier expected. He had been told to leave Angelo alone, and that was exactly what Xavier wanted to try and do. Since he did consider Angelo his friend. He had already said it to Marissa partially, but Xavier would die if he could get any semblance of what they used to have. They weren’t close, but Angelo was one of the first people Xavier considered a friend after the evacuation.

    He looked away from Angelo a bit abruptly. “I just... didn’t want to bother you.” That was Xavier’s way of saying ‘Yes, yes I did’. Of course he would never actually admit it. He didn’t want to offend Angelo or anything.
     
  7. Romi
    Romi

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    Angelo looked away, staring ahead, letting his mind wander. He should have seen that coming. Xavier had, after all, obeyed his wishes. Angelo had asked to be left alone, and Xavier had answered his wish.

    "I'm not angry with you anymore," Angelo said. It would have been a lie to say he never was. At one point he'd been really angry. He'd felt jerked around and betrayed. But right then? No, not really. "I've had a lot happen. A lot of perspective. And you... well, you've changed."

    Xavier was fundamentally a different person than he'd been. Before he'd been, for lack of a better word, a bit of a dumbass. Eager to please. Willing to trust people he shouldn't have been trusting.

    Idealistic, really.

    "You're not bothering me," he finally said.
     
  8. WuffyWuff
    WuffyWuff

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    Xavier raised his head to look at Angelo. His eyes wide as he stared. There was pure, unfiltered disbelief. Xavier had acknowledged he'd been hard on himself, but a fundamental part of him still felt he deserved every bad thing that happened. He didn't feel he deserved Angelo not being angry at him... and he couldn't believe that he wasn't. It had to be some sick joke, just like with Michael right? But the longer Xavier processed, the less he could actually believe that. Angelo wasn't like Michael, Xavier knew that.

    At the last thing that Angelo said, Xavier's shoulders and head just slumped a bit as he stared at the ground. Opening up meant he acknowledge issues, but it also left him a bit more emotionally fragile at that current time. He managed not to start crying but it most certainly got close. Xavier didn't feel like a different person, he still felt like the awful human being that could ever exist from all those months ago. It would probably take more than a few days where he opened up to people for him to ever fix that. "I don't really feel that different..." He stared at his hands as he clenched and unclenched them a few times. "I'm still the same idiot." He spoke quietly. Xavier didn't even try to hide how his voice sounded. Depressed, anxious, scared.

    He raised his head again so he could look at Angelo, his eyes so much more tired to the complete joker he had been before the prank. "It's... been a rough few months, I guess..." It was a simple, but honest response. Honesty had been something Xavier had resolved he would do it a bit more of after he internalised so many issues for so long.
     
  9. Romi
    Romi

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    "The same idiot wouldn't have called himself an idiot," Angelo pointed out. "He'd have said it was a simple mistake anyone would have made. Or he'd have said it wasn't a mistake at all." After all, that had been what had bothered Angelo so much. The lying. The twisting things around. He'd struggled with that, and even if he still wasn't comfortable with it...

    Well, there were other things on his mind. Other people. Hating people took energy, and Angelo no longer had that energy for someone who had so obviously spent the last few months beating himself up for it.

    "I guessed," he finally said. "You kind of look it. You tried to act like you were just fine, but it was obvious you weren't. That you... well, that you were still beating yourself up. Stuck in place."

    That was a good way to put it, Angelo thought. That Xavier was stuck in place. Running in circles without moving forward, unable to let go. He supposed it made sense. He'd lost a lot of people in the aftermath, even if it had been entirely understandable.

    "I've had a lot going on. A lot of changes. Lost people. Gained people. I wondered a bit about how you were doing."
     
  10. WuffyWuff
    WuffyWuff

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    Xavier put his hands together when he stopped clenching and unclenching them. His thumbs twiddled together, a bit anxiously. Months of self loathing made him feel that he had not at all changed from that time. “I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to believe that. I’ll probably always be an idiot.” Xavier spoke like he believed those words, truly because he did.

    He leaned back where he sat, pulled his hands towards himself so he could rub his face. “I’ve... acknowledged that I had issues. I’m trying to work through them. I’m glad I have people who want to help me.” A small smile crept at the corners of his lips. For all the issues he still had, he couldn’t understand how much he appreciated being friends with Diego, Xarrah, and Marissa.

    He inhaled as he thought to himself. “A lot has changed for me as well, I suppose. In more recent times, I want to say for the better. The past 5 months... maybe not as good.”
     


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