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Private Asking for Advice

Discussion in 'Student Life' started by Zora, Mar 12, 2019.

  1. Zora
    Zora

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    Walking down the hallway to her next class, Liliana had an overwhelming need to just stop, and take a breather. Things were building up again with elections, school newspaper, the Hereafter club, and she could feel herself being pulled in different directions. Usually, she didn't mind this. Usually.

    But today, she had been unusually agitated. Maybe it was because she had had to guide two children today, one of them extremely ill, and the other a victim of parental abuse. And while children were often the easiest and most trusting souls to guide, usually the circumstances surrounding their deaths were the saddest, and today, not even the trickster ghosts that followed her around sometimes, could cheer her up.

    Noting that she had stopped in front of one of her teacher's classrooms, one Liliana liked and admired. Someone whose soul she had peeked at and saw it shone brightly, even it was a bit tarnished. She figured that it must be a sign of sorts, and decided to follow it.

    "Miss Daidel?" Liliana enquired politely as she knocked at the door to her classroom, "Do you have a moment?" she asked hesitantly.

    @EmiRose
     
  2. EmiRose
    EmiRose

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    After dismissing her students Fehralyn took a moment to sit down, and rest her back and legs before starting to clear up her equipment. The pregnancy was really taking a toll on Fehralyn's endurance, and she really was not enjoying being in this weakened state. If someone decided to attack her right now Fehralyn would probably only barely be able to fend them off without harming Leo in the process.
    But then again it most probably would not happen, someone attacking Fehralyn. So she stopped those ludicrous thoughts right when they started.

    Fehralyn had been on edge these days, or more like these weeks. First she had stressed and worried herself sick because of Masami's sudden decision to fight on the arena, and the fight itself had made Fehralyn fear for his life. Well, he had won, quite quickly, but it didn't erase what the stress had done to Fehralyn's mind and body. And now her back was getting worse. Yes, Fehralyn was more than ready to give birth to her son and regain her normal strength.

    After a while Fehralyn stood up and began clearing the desk, lining the papers neatly and stacking the folders. But she didn't get everything cleared out before she heard the knock on the door, and saw a student look inside. It was a student she knew, and Fehralyn turned to face Liliana, one hand on the desk.
    "Hello Liliana. I do indeed have a moment, many in fact. How can I help?"
    Fehralyn had a small smile on her face, she didn't like calling her students by last name. Calling one by their first name helped form bonds of trust, and that was what Fehralyn wanted her students to do. Trust her.
     
  3. Zora
    Zora

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    #3 Zora, Mar 13, 2019
    Last edited: Mar 13, 2019
    "I was wondering if you had a moment to talk? I need some advice about a few things, and truthfully, I am just out of sorts. I've had a very bad morning." she told her with a defeated look on her face.

    "I helped two young kids pass on this morning, and I don't know. For the first time ever, I - it just seemed so, so unfair," she told her teacher, blurting everything out, not even aware if Ferh knew about her ability or not. Just finding the whole experience disheartening and sad.
     
  4. EmiRose
    EmiRose

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    Liliana indeed did look like she had had a rough morning, Fehr wasn't denying that. She tilted her head slightly, and went over to Liliana.
    "I will answer any questions you have to my best abilities. Come and sit."
    Fehr set a hand against Liliana's back and nudged her towards the teacher's chair behind the desk. It was much better than the other seats in the class, it was comfy and had a special support for the back that Fehr had requested from her employer.

    At first Fehr was slightly confused when Liliana spoke of helping children pass, but as she dug her memory she remembered Liliana being a psychopomp. Fehr tried remembering what species her students were, and sometimes she briefly tapped into their life energy to find just that out. And to Fehr's knowledge psychopomps helped souls of the dead pass on, or something to that degree. The moment Fehr realized all this she sympathized with Liliana. Fehr did not see the souls of the dead, but she had seen so much death and she had sent troops to war knowing they would die.
    "I would imagine so, death is seldom fair. Your role is a frustrating one, very necessary but frustrating."
    Fehr only said this at first, giving Liliana time and a chance to say anything else she had in mind, or ask the advice she needed.
     
  5. Zora
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    Grateful for her teacher's understanding, Liliana took a seat and placed her book bag on the floor beside her.

    "It can be overwhelmingly sad too," she admitted sort of sadly. "We often have to wait when a child is to pass on, wait for that moment when it happens..." she explained. "Children don't really know what death is, their souls can get lost so easily, be corrupted or taken by a soul reaper," she murmured, the memory still fresh, making her even sadder for a moment.

    Sighing, Liliana looked at her teacher, "I decided not to run for student council again, it was too much," she said. "I have the school newspaper and Iggy's club, and KirMir, and I need to focus on college, I am just so mentally exhausted." she confessed.
     
  6. EmiRose
    EmiRose

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    Fehralyn leaned on the desk, as she listened to Liliana explain how her powers and role functioned. It was indeed mentally exhausting, something you needed to separate yourself from but still maintain a certain level of empathy. Similar to doctors.
    "You did not choose your part, and I do not know if you take pride in it. But what you do, no matter how tragic or unfair, is priceless. I hope you'll remember that, and that all those children are in the end grateful for what you do for them. Because death is often scary, but you make it peaceful."

    What kind of words should Fehralyn offer Liliana? Fehr herself was a person, that flourished under pressure, and performed better when she knew something depended on it. But Liliana clearly was not the same as her.
    "That's good. Know your limits, and respect them. Do not push them when you know you won't be able to handle it."
    Fehralyn started with that, basically an obvious thing that anyone should know.
    "But that doesn't apply just to student council, Liliana. I do not know your reasons for pushing yourself, if you simply want to help others, or if you want to perform well. No matter the reason the reasoning stays the same. You're not helping anyone, and most importantly not yourself, if you continue pushing."
     
  7. Zora
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    "Pride?" Liliana said, surprised at that, "No, not really. I mean, I know what I do is invaluable, that without us souls would be lost or tore apart, and magic would probably not keep existing as it does," she replied thoughtfully as she began thinking of the stuff she did for the dying and recently departed.

    Then thinking about Ms. Daidel advice about pushing herself, Liliana found that she didn't know why she pushed. It had definitely become a thing lately though. Since her parents had left the island actually. And it was not until that awful incident with Shale, Jude, Tomo and the others that she realised how spread out she had become. Even a quiet moment with KirMir had become scarce, something she was slowly regretting.

    "How do you do it, Ms Daidel?" Liliana then asked her curiously. There were rumours around the school that her teacher was alone too, that it was just her to raise her child. Something Lily couldn't imagine doing alone.
     
  8. EmiRose
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    "Taking pride in your role, or at least a small part of it, is an important motivator that many cannot do without. If you cannot bring yourself to do that then perhaps you should try and find out why. Perhaps the answer lies there."
    With Fehralyn, she took great pride in what she did. And even though her previous role had ultimately been that of a killer she had still took pride in the fact, that she protected her men and rider.

    "I suppose in my case it is a matter of upbringing. When a mind matures in an environment with nothing but pressure it grows accustomed to it, evolves and learns to take solace in the chaos. This way is not a good or healthy one, it stunts how an individual sees the world."
    Thankfully Fehralyn had been able to regain many parts of herself, thanks to Galeo.
    "Ultimately I do better when I'm busy, and I'm much more resistant to stress. But you should find your own way of dealing, experiment and discover the ways you can best deal."
     
  9. Zora
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    "It's not that I don't have pride in what I do," Liliana began, a little unsure of herself. "It's just that I have always considered what I do as something I do because that is what I was born to do," she explained.

    "I can never stop being a psychopomp, I was born because we are part of the cycle of living and dying..." she said kind of frowning thoughtfully.

    "I used to be that way, thrive when I had thirty different things going on, but..." here she stopped, she didn't know how to put it. All she knew is that almost dying a while back, had made her realise she was missing out on a lot of things, important things like spending time with KirMir, practicing her archery and just enjoying life. ... "but now, it's like that's not fulfilling anymore. I realised I'm missing out a lot on important things." she confessed.
     
  10. EmiRose
    EmiRose

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    "The fact that you are a part of the cycle of living and dying is a thing, that may feel constricting sometimes. Like you cannot escape from your role. But we all hold roles in that cycle. I can see the flow of life, and it flows strongly through you. I can see you were made strong enough to hold your role."
    Fehralyn never lied, and she did not say such things lightly. She meant every word.

    "You have changed, Liliana, and your surroundings have changed as well."
    Fehralyn set a hand on the young woman's shoulder, looking down at her with a stoic but soft expression.
    "So it is also time to change how you do things, or at least try. Rely on others, so you can have space to re-invent yourself. I did the same when I came here. I gave myself time. And I believe that if a so-called "tightass" such as myself is capable of it, then so are you."
    The part about Fehralyn being a tightass was a joke, but an accurate one. Fehr could be a very big tightass.
     


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